Her Second Chance at Normal
by gapeach22
Summary: When Olivia finds out she's pregnant, she decides it is her second chance normal, so she takes it. She signs OPA over to Harrison and begins living a normal life with a very special man.
1. Her Second Chance at Normal

Her Second Chance at Normal

"She's all yours," Olivia said as she handed the keys of OPA over to Harrison. "Promise me that you will treat her right."

"I will…" he replied with sense of smugness.

Olivia walked around her old office one more time. She ran her hand along the Victorian desk and fluffed the sofa cushions. "Well, if that's all you need Mr. Wright. I'll be leaving. I have a plane to catch, remember?" She reached out and grabbed his hands.

"I do…so, you are really doing this?" he asked.

She took a deep breath and looked at him begrudgingly. "Yes. He loves me and this our way of starting over." She said as she looked down and rubbed one of her hands over her growing belly. "I had chance at normal once. After Amanda Tanner, Fitz and I were going to be normal- mow the lawn, walk the dog, and fight over the dishes. The whole nine yards, but I sacrificed it. I thought America needed him more as a president than I needed him as partner." She took another deep breath. "I gave up so much to be with him, and…" She shook her head ferociously. It was as if she was trying to forget a bad memory. "It's doesn't even matter anymore. This baby is my second chance at a normal life, and I am going to take it."

Harrison stepped closer to Liv. "If this is what you want, then you have my support. Over a cliff, right?" he smirked.

"Over. A. Cliff." She repeated. "Plus, Langston is about to run this country into the ground anyways, so…" She joked. They hugged one more time and exchanged goodbyes. He walked her to the door and watched her step on the elevator for the last time. "Anything else?" She asked while pressing the "B" button.

"Yeah…any advice?"

She paused for a second to reflect on her life. She thought about of all of it-the journey, the clients, the felonies, and the sacrifices. "Life is hard," she said. "It's not a fantasy. People disappoint you, and you will disappoint somebody. Just remember, we are all trying to do the best we can, given the circumstances." Harrison nodded, and the doors of the elevator shut.

Olivia reached in her bag for her keys and her phone. "_Two new messages"_ it said. She opened it and could not help but smile. It read:

"_At the airport. I'm waiting near the terminal. Please hurry with snug bug. I miss her"_

"_Oh…and you too."_

"_We miss you too," _she thought. The elevator dinged, and she stepped off without a care in the world. He was waiting for her at the terminal, and they were going to be family. He was committed to starting over, and that made her happy. For once, she was a priority. She unlocked her car door and slid inside. She was about to crank up when she heard a tap on the passenger window. She rolled down the window.

"Hi, can I get in?" he said. She unlocked the door, and he slid in. "Please don't do this," he said focusing on the dashboard. "We can fix this. Don't go."

She took a deep breath. This was the last thing she needed right now. "No, we can't. This is unfixable," she cried.

"Why? Because of the baby? I know I'm not the father, and I don't care. I want you back. I love you, Liv."

"It's not that simple." She interrupted. "It's not that simple."

"…and that allows for forgiveness. Love is bigger than some mistake somebody made."

"Fitz, I married him. He's my husband now…"

He reached for her hand and placed it between both of his. "It doesn't matter. You can petition for an annulment. I love you, and I don't know what I would do without you." He was crying now. "You are a part of me…" He was amidst a break down.

"You say that, but you've always shown me that it wasn't. Defiance…Jake…Verna…Amanda Tanner. Love does not conquer all, and you cannot use it to fix this. There is no reset button in life." She removed her hand from his and wiped the tears from his cheeks.

"Liv, I'm finally free. We can start over just like you're planning to do with him. We can move to different state or country. I have job offers from all over the world. I will stop traveling and be the husband you deserve." He grazed his cheek against her hand. "In this time, in this place, I things will be different." She closed her eyes and took it all in. She began nodding her head in agreement. "Say you will wait for me Livy…" he mumbled into her hand. "…just until after the inauguration, then I will be yours."

Olivia slowly pulled her hand away. "No," she said with such conviction. "Fitz I have a child to think about and I cannot bring him into a world filled with waiting and disappointment. I. Am. Done. No more. I deserve better, so I am going to the airport and starting over with a man who loves me enough to make me a priority. I'm sorry Fitz." Olivia turned her head and focused on the steering wheel. She reached for the ignition. "Goodbye Fitzgerald," she said, "You will find something else to make you happy."

Fitz wiped the tears from his cheeks and leaned over to kiss Olivia on the cheek. "I love you," he whispered, "and it does conquer all. I will wait for you. If it takes 5 weeks…11 months…or 25 years. I will wait for you." He opened the door and slid out. He walked over to the waiting black SUVs.

Olivia took a deep breath and started her car. She put the car in reverse and backed out of her parking space. She drove by the motorcade and waved to Fitz one last time. She was finally on her way to the airport.

Olivia walked through the airport on cloud nine. Nothing could bring her down. She was pregnant and glowing. She was finally married to a man that loved her and didn't ask her to wait for him. But most of all, she finally made a decision when it came to Fitz. She decided she was worth more and that love didn't always have to hurt.

She walked into the terminal and began looking for him. "_Where is your father?_" she asked her belly. She circled the check in desk and that is when she saw him. The curve of his face…the short brown military cut…and the sparkling gold band. She walked over to him and took a seat. "I can do this," she exhaled.

"Yes. You can. We are doing this." He replied. "I love you, and I love snug bug, and we are going to be family."

"But is that enough? Is love ever enough?" she asked while her eyes began to glaze over.

"You saw him, didn't you?" He shook his head in disbelief.

"He came to OPA, and we talked. He said that he loves me and asked me to not do _this_. The end was near, and just to wait…" she took a deep breath. "It doesn't matter. I chose you. I chose us. You are all I need, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." She leaned over and kissed him.

"You're such a smooth talker, Mrs. Ballard, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you too." They smiled at each other.

"_Now boarding Flight 15647 to London,"_ the clerk announced.

"That's us," he said. "Ready?'

"Of course, over a cliff, right?"

"Over a cliff." Jake responded as he reached for her hand. Then, they stood up and walked towards the gate. "So, have you thought of any names?'

_25 Years Later…_

Olivia looked out the window and thought about the last time she was at the Grant ranch. It had not changed a single bit since Fitz's campaign. She reflected on her life up to this point. How did she end up here again?

"Mom!" Eleanor screamed bringing her out of her thoughts. "The caterers are here, but they don't have the cake. You can't have a wedding without cake!" She exclaimed.

"Stop screaming." She said rubbing her brow. "I will go and find out why there is no cake. You need to calm down; everything will be fine." She pulled Eleanor into her arms and began rubbing small circles in her back. "I've had a wedding before, you know?" she joked. "And consider it handled." Olivia released her daughter and began walking towards the kitchen. She was wrapping up her conversation when she saw him. He walked by the kitchen and stopped to look at her. He wasn't supposed to be there. Last night at the engagement party, he promised that he wouldn't see her until the wedding. She thanked the caterer again and walked out onto the porch.

"Hi," he smiled.

"Hi Fitz…" she smiled. They stared each at other for a moment. "Aren't you supposed to be off with the groomsmen, giving advice about love and marriage." She joked breaking the silence.

"I should, but I forgot something." He took a step towards her, and she took a step away from him.

"Fitz…we can't, especially not right now. You have a house full of guests."

He looked down defeated. "No, it's not like that. See, Teddy forgot a groomsman's gift," he explained, "Instead of forcing him to come back and interrupting the festivities, I decided to come grab it."

"Oh." She exhaled. Fitz side stepped Olivia and began walking towards the house. "Do you think this time will be different?' she asked without turning around. Fitz stopped dead in his tracks. She could feel the anxiety rising in her stomach. "Can love really conquer all? Or, is this one big mistake?" she finished.

Fitz pondered the questions for a minute. "Yes, it will be different" he replied, "…because the odds are in favor now, instead of against." He took another deep breath. "…and no love doesn't conquer all. It destroys it all." He closed his eyes and began shaking his head.

"Fitz…" she closed her eyes and rubbed her thumb over her wedding band.

"Olivia, love and marriage are complicated. They take work, and they put you between a rock a hard place." He took another deep breath. "I don't know if this is a mistake. Only time will tell.

"Will they make it?"

"No, they will not make it. They are too naive to see what marriage and love really are." He took another deep breath. "The truth is…life is hard," he said. "It's not a fantasy. People disappoint you, and you will disappoint somebody. We are all trying to do the best we can, given the circumstances, but sometimes that isn't enough to allow for…forgiveness." He started walking towards the door again.

"I forgive you." She said, and he stopped again. "I forgave you a long time ago." She clarified. "I was wrong. You are wrong. Love does allow for forgiveness. Jake taught me that. He forgave me," Fitz cringed. It was the first time she had mentioned his name privately. "They will make it because unlike us, they're not broken. They're not hoping that the other one will fix whatever is broken. They are two whole persons joining together because they want to, not because they need to."

Fitz took a deep breath. "Olivia, I wanted you…"

"Mom!" Eleanor called pulling Olivia and Fitz out of their thoughts. "Dad can't find his tie. He doesn't know where he left it. He's not walking me down the aisle without a tie. Can you help him?" She yelled while rolling her eyes.

"Yes, consider it handled." Olivia replied.

"Oh, Fitz I didn't see you there. Wait…aren't you supposed to be with groomsmen? Is Teddy here? He can't see me in my dress; it's bad luck" She started to hide behind Olivia which caused Fitz to giggle.

"No," he said as he stepped closer. "He forgot a groomsman's gift, and I decided to come grab it. Everything is fine. It will be fine." He said as he reached out for her hands and pulled her in closer for a hug. "Listen to me. You love him. He loves you, and that is all that matters at the end of the day." His gaze held with Olivia's. "If two people are meant to be together, they will find a way to be together...unless one of you gives up." he continued, "but Teddy's not a quitter, neither are you. You two will be fine" he finished.

She tilted her head back and awkwardly played with her shirt sleeves.

"Thanks Fitz." Eleanor said as she turned back towards Olivia. "Mom… you okay?'" she asked.

"I'm okay. Now, let's go find Dad's tie." She said while pulling Eleanor away from Fitz. "It's probably in my suitcase or your brother's. Don't worry; he will walk you down the aisle…in a tie." She joked. The two women walked in the house without a look back. Fitz leaned against the brick wall for moment. He needed time to process what just happened. _She wanted what? _He thought to himself. After a few more minutes, Fitz walked into the house closing the door behind him.

_After the Wedding…_

The wedding went off without a hitch. Eleanor looked gorgeous in her gown, and Teddy was dressed impeccably as always. The ceremony was moving, and now, everyone was having a wonderful time at the reception. "They look so happy," Olivia whispered in to Jake's ear. "Our snug bug has finally grown up." She smiled.

"Let's dance?" he asked. "We never got a "first dance.' This can be our redux." He smirked. Olivia reached out for Jake's hand, and they headed to the dance floor. They were just getting into their rhythm when the music stopped.

"Sorry for the interruption, but the fathers of the bride and groom have a few words." The wedding planner announced. "Mr. Grant? Mr. Ballard?'

"Shit. Do you have your remarks?' Jake asked Olivia.

"Yes…do you?"

"No…can you do the speech?" He whispered.

"You're lucky that you're cute." She joked as she walked up to the stage. "It's Mrs. Ballard, actually." She corrected as she took the microphone. She took a deep breath and began speaking from her heart:

_Ellie, you are the greatest blessing that your father and I have received. You were our hopes, dreams, and fears wrapped up into one seven-pound package. You were our lives. Now, you've grown up, and it's time for you to start your own journey with Teddy. You two meshed so well, and he compliments you. Use him. Depend on him. He's your husband and your best friend now. You father and I will always love you, and you are always welcome in D.C. Hugs and kisses snug bug. _

Olivia handed the microphone over to Fitz and joined Jake at their table. Fitz began his speech:

_Teddy, my miracle child, I am proud of the man you have become, and if your mother was alive, she would feel the same way. You are strong, compassionate, and smart. You have traveled \to terrible places without an ounce of fear. As you start your new chapter, please keep that in mind. You two found each other. Seven continents…hundreds of countries…and thousands of miles away from home…and somehow you two found each other in a small Taiwanese village. That was the easy part. Marriage is work and filled with obstacles, so when you run into your first obstacle, just remember the man you are. To Teddy and Eleanor._

Fitz raised his glass and toasted the new couple. He walked of the stage and headed back to his table. After another hour of dancing and eating, the reception was finally over. Teddy and Eleanor were at the W Hotel and kicking off their honeymoon. The caterers had been paid and cleanup was well under its way. Fitz sat at the bar drinking alone when Olivia walked up behind him.

"Nice speech," she said. "Love the advice."

"You didn't do too bad yourself." He replied. "You want a drink?" He offered as walked around the bar.

"Bourbon neat." He poured her a drink and handed it to her.

"Where's Jake?" he interrupted.

She tilted her head and looked at him. "He got called away. It was a work thing."

"Ah…B613. Still protecting the republic, I see. Does the new president know they exist? Or is it still a secret?" he joked.

"Still a secret., but Jake has cleaned up the organization. He's a better command than my father. Hell, he's a better father than my father." She laughed.

"Yes, Rowan was a terrible man. I was relieved when he died. No offense."

"None taken," she said as she shrugged her shoulders. " I can't lie and pretend he was an amazing man when he wasn't."

Sensing her guilt, he changed the subject. "So, what are you and Jake going to do now that Eleanor is moving out?" he asked.

"I don't know. Jake wants to retire and move to Connecticut with Teddy and Ellie. He wants to 'rediscover' us and be normal. He wants be real grandparents to their kids. Bake cookies…spoil them with gifts…and take Disney cruises…"

"Disney cruises? Really Liv?"

"Yes." She replied as she shook her head. "You?"

"I'm moving to Texas to spend more time Gerry and Sarah. Gerry is being deployed to South Korea, and I'm moving to Texas to help Sarah with the kids. I leave in a couple of weeks." He smiled.

"Fitz, that's great. You will love Texas. Jake and I lived in Dallas for a while, and …." She started.

Fitz stared at Olivia and listened to her talk about their time in Dallas. The conversation went on like that for hours. It was almost seven in the morning when they finally realized what time it was. As the sun rose, they sat on the porch and looked out at the ranch.


	2. A New Life

A New Life

_Two years later…_

"Mom, I absolutely love you." Eleanor screamed from the master bedroom as she packed her carry on. "I really appreciate you watching Charlie."

"No problem. I _love_ spending time with this little guy anyways…we're going to have so much fun this week," Olivia replied as she played peekaboo with the eight-month old.

"I don't know what happened. Teddy was supposed to be back this yesterday, but his trip was extended," she explained as she walked into the kitchen. "And I can't cancel my trip because then I would be removed from the account, which is like a demotion in my field, and I've worked too hard to get here, especially…"

"Ellie breathe. Everything will be fine." Olivia walked over to Eleanor and wrapped her arms around her. "You and Teddy will figure it out. Give it some time."

"Mom, I've given it time. This isn't working. We're not working."

"Ellie…"

"Teddy and I haven't been in the same state since Charlie was born. He travels every other week and when he's not traveling, he stays in the city. Occasionally, I receive text messages, but he never returns my phone calls," she cried. "I don't know what to do Mom."

Olivia wiped away Eleanor's tears and hugged her tighter. "It will be fine. After you were born, your father and I went through the same thing. At least, you two can coordinate schedules. Jake's business trips were always a surprise. Don't give up. Everything will work out."

Eleanor took a deep breathe. "Thanks Mom," she said.

"You're welcome. Now, go. Get out of here before you miss your flight." Eleanor grabbed her bag and headed out the door. "…and don't forget to call me when you make it." Eleanor looked back at Olivia and blew her a kiss.

Olivia walked over to Charlie and picked him up from the playpen. She bounced him on her chest and thought about her next move. _How can she fix this? _A few minutes later, her cellphone rang. "_I wonder who that is she thought,"_ as she walked over to the kitchen counter. She looked down at the caller ID and smiled. "It's grandpa, Charlie." She said aloud as she slid her finger across the screen. "Mr. Ballard, it is so nice of you to call. I'm starting to believe that I mean nothing to you." She joked.

"Liv, you know that you mean the world to me. You are the mother of my children, my wife, and the only woman that I've ever went down…"

"Mr. Ballard! You are on speakerphone, and there are baby ears in the room." Her cheeks were starting to burn from the embarrassment.

"to Mexico with." He finished.

"That's better." She smiled.

"I love you, and I can't imagine my life without you. You and the kids are my whole world. " He exclaimed.

"Really?" She asked.

"Really." He smiled into the phone. They took a second to enjoy the moment. He could hear her breathing on his end, and she could hear his breathing on her end.

After a few seconds, she asked "What time is your plane arriving?" breaking the silence.

"4:30 and a town car will drive me from the airport to the house. I should be home before dinner." He replied as he initialed and signed a classified briefing. "If not, you can…."

"Wait." She interrupted. "I will wait for you."

"Liv…"

"It's fine. I want to because we haven't eaten dinner together in over three weeks. You've been so busy with work. We…"

"I know. I know. I know." He said as he placed the pen on his desk and focused on the picture beside his computer. It was a photo of the entire Ballard clan at the hospital in the hours after Charlie was born. It was one of the happiest days of his life.

"Jake I don't want to lose you." She finally admitted. "We've been through too much to lose each other now. We survived the hard part. This should be the easy part of our lives." Olivia glanced down at Charlie, who was sleeping now, and began rubbing small circles on his back.

"You're not losing me. You will never lose me. I love you, remember?"

"I love you too." She replied as she laid Charlie down in the playpen to nap.

Sensing her pain, Jake decided to steer the conversation in a different direction. "How's my snug bug doing?"

"She's okay."

"Okay? Can you be any vaguer? He asked as reclined back in his chair. "What is wrong?"

She took a deep breathe. She hated talking about Teddy and Eleanor's relationship with Jake. He never really realized that Eleanor was an adult. In his eyes, she would always be a newborn that needed his protection, which made him biased towards her. To him, she could do no wrong, and Teddy was always the bad guy. "Jake, they are having problems. Nothing to worry about. They are trying to figure out how to make their old lives work with Charlie in it. That is all."

"Liv, I have to go." Jake responded as he pushed a stack of papers into a folder. "I have a meeting in five minutes. I love you and kiss Charlie for me. Bye."

"Will…" before she could finish the line went dead. Olivia laid her phone back down on the counter and stared at it for moment. This time was supposed to be different. They should have grown closer together, but they were the farthest apart that they had been in years. She had grown to love him, and now, she could not imagine her life without him. Instead of worrying about a despondent situation, she decided to focus her energy on dinner and fixing Teddy and Eleanor's marriage.

A few hours later, dinner was finished and nicely placed on the table. Olivia was pulling a white wine from the fridge when she felt an arm snake around her. "Perfect timing as always, Mr. Ballard." She smiled. "Go clean up, and we can eat dinner in five minutes."

"What if I don't want to eat dinner?" he whispered into her ear.

"Oh…what do you have in mind?" she responded as she snuggled closer to him.

"I think we should put Charlie to bed early." He began.

"Tell me more."

"…and cuddle on the couch with a bottle of wine. We could sit and talk like old times."

"Or we could relive our old times," she giggled as she grinded on the top of his thighs.

"Ok. I like your plan more" he screamed as he turned her around, so he could kiss her. Jake grabbed Olivia's face and slowly leaned in to kiss her. He tilted his head. He grazed his lips over her lips until she parted them. He slowly slipped his tongue into her mouth and began to slowly increase the intensity. They were just getting into a comfortable rhythm when they heard the front door open and close. Olivia looked at Jake.

"Are you expecting anyone?" she asked. He shook his head no.

"Mom? Captain?" the voice called out.

They both looked at each other, and their heart sunk. They knew who it was. "Sorry," she whispered. "We can finish this when we get back to DC. Let's eat dinner and go back to plan A." Olivia slid out of Jake's grip and walked towards the living room. "We're coming Jonathan!" she screamed. Olivia turned to Jake and gave him an encouraging smile.

"Mom!" he yelled. Jonathan dropped his bags and ran towards her. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her as tight as he could "I missed you."

"I missed you too pumpkin." She responded as she rubbed small circles on his back.

Jake took a deep breath and walked into living room. Jake reached out his hand and said "Hey son."

Jonathan ignored his gesture and continued to hug Olivia. After releasing her, he finally said "Hi Captain."


	3. In the Airport

In the Airport 

Eleanor arrived at the airport an hour before her flight. Besides the wait, she went through the security checkpoint without a problem. "_This may be an easy trip after all,"_ she thought. She walked down the crowded concourse towards her gate. For a Tuesday, the terminal was awfully busy. Every two minutes, employees announced names and flight numbers over the loud speaker. People were running to catch flights and the train. Eleanor walked into the waiting area and rolled her eyes. There were no empty seats. After a few minutes of searching, she finally found an empty seat. She sat down and immediately reached for her phone. "_No new messages. No missed calls. Should I call him?" _she thought. Last night was the last time she talked to Teddy, and it did not end well…

_"Teddy, you know what this trip means to me," she whispered, so she wouldn't wake up Charlie._

_"It is out of my hands. My boss decided to extend it," he explained._

_"You promised. One week. You said that you would be back in __**one**__ week, and I would be able to take my trip. What am I supposed to do?" She asked._

_"Reschedule it." He suggested. "You've done it before." _

_"I can't. If I reschedule, the client will drop me from the account. God, you can be selfish, Teddy." _

_"I'm selfish? You are selfish. You __**wanted**__ to work! I suggested that you stay at home with Charlie. I could provide us. No problem." _

_"Teddy, you better think about your next words __**very carefully**__."_

_He took a moment to think about his next words. "Fine. Handle it. Call my dad and Sharon. They returned from their cruise last night."_

_"I'm not calling your dad and his flavor of the week. He can't take care of himself…let alone Charlie." She was upset now. How could he suggest something so silly? _

_"Well, call your mom. I would suggest you dad, but he's probably out of town as always." His blood was boiling now. "Yet, he is a better father than me," he finished._

_"Teddy…" _

_"I heard the conversation, Ellie. I wasn't __**that**__ wrapped up in Charlie's diaper change."_

_"I'm sorry! It just came out." She screamed causing Charlie to jump and looked around.. Thankfully, after a few seconds, he fell back asleep. _

_"Ellie, I have to go. My boss is waving me over. Goodbye."_

_The line went dead. All she heard was the beeping sound, and it reminded her that the call was over. She placed the phone on the nightstand and hit the lights. She played the conversation in her head. She made a list of pros and cons, thought about how it could have went better, and made mental notes of what she did wrong. She never meant to hurt Teddy's feelings, but she did. That day, she was tired of his laid back, nonchalant attitude. She needed to vent, so she called her mom. Eleanor began crying. She was tired of the fighting and the passive aggressiveness. She desired for things to return to normal. An hour had passed, and she was still awake. She could not sleep when she was angry with Teddy. She turned on the bedside light and grabbed her phone. She waited for him to answer. He never did. She ended the call. "_He'll call back,"_ she thought. Eleanor quickly texted Olivia asking if she could watch Charlie, and luckily, she said yes. Eleanor placed the phone back on the nightstand, kissed Charlie, and fell asleep. _

"Flight 134 to Seattle is now boarding," the attendant announced over the intercom. Eleanor heard the reminder and headed towards her gate.

Four hours and one layover later, the plane landed in Seattle. Passengers quickly filed out and headed towards baggage claim. On her way to the carousel, Eleanor checked her phone for any new messages or missed calls. She had none. She grabbed her bag and walked to the drop-off/pick-up area. The air was cold and damp. It smelled like fresh pine and snow. She searched for her name in the sea of town cars but could not find it. She dialed her assistant, but stopped when she saw a former teacher.

"Gregory?" she called. "Gregory, is that you?"

"Eleanor..." he said as he walked closer to her. " Eleanor Ophelia Ballard! Well, I be damned." He stretched his arms out and wrapped them around her waist. "How long has it been?"

"A little over four years…" she smiled. Her eyes looked him up and down. She was captivated and hanging on his every word. It had really been four years, five months, and three weeks, but who was counting. Gregory was wearing dark jeans, a Rolling Stone t-shirt, and red sneakers. He still dressed as if he was a graduate student, and his thick Texan accent was making her melt.

"You sure? It feels longer…" Gregory looked at Eleanor and tried take it all in. He took a mental snapshot of her. He loved her new look. It was different from her style in college and during her hipster days. She was dressed in black pencil skirt, a colorful chiffon top, and black flats. She seemed much more mature. One would never guess that he was ten years her senior and a PhD professor. That he was the responsible one, instead of the naïve, idealistic student. "What are you doing in Seattle?" he asked.

"Business…you?'

"I live here now. Jessica and I moved after our oldest was born…a little over three years ago."

"Oh…" that was all she could muster.

He did not know what to say. It had been four years, five months, and three weeks. What could he possibly say that would convey four years' worth of feelings? "I have a son and a daughter." He exclaimed. "I have pictures."

"Can I see?' she asked.

He pulled out his phone and flipped through a dozen or so photos. There were pictures of his kids in costumes for Halloween, family pictures at the beach, and a portrait on their front porch.

"They are beautiful. You truly have the American dream."

"Yeah, I did well." He replied as he shook his head in agreement. "I live in Highland suburbs and teach at Rusk University now. It's no third world country, but I love it. How are you doing?"

"I'm great. I'm married to an amazing man, and we have a son, Charlie. I work for a public relations firm, and I also live in the suburbs…of Connecticut." She whispered the last part and hoped that he didn't hear her.

"Wow. You in the suburbs? That's…that's crazy." He joked. "What happened to girl who wanted to burn the suburbs down? You said that it was oppressive and detrimental to the advancement of women." They both started laughing.

"Wow. I was out there. I can't believe…" her sentence was interrupted by the ringing of her phone. "I have to answer this. It's my office. " She started to walk off but looked back. "It was nice seeing you again Greg." She turned back around and continued walking. She started processing what just happened. She randomly ran into a man that she had not seen in four years, five months, and three weeks.


	4. Let Me Fix This

Olivia removed the last dish from the table and headed towards the kitchen. Hoping they would talk, she left Jonathan and Jake alone in the dining room. The silent treatment Jonathan was giving Jake was unnecessary, and Olivia knew it was killing him. He loved Jonathan and prided himself on being a good father. While Ellie was the apple of his eye, Jonathan was his partner in crime. As a child, Jonathan followed Jake around like a St. Bernard and acted as if Jake was the greatest man in the world. Jonathan had no right to treat Jake like this.

Jake looked at Jonathan and felt all the feelings that he had compartmentalized over the last year. He could be the bigger man and speak first. They needed to move past this, and Jonathan wasn't giving an inch of his territory. He was stubborn just like Liv. He could be a father and continue waiting on Jonathan to grow up. He was acting childish, and childish behavior would not be rewarded. Going against his gut instinct, Jake opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. His brain didn't know where to start. "_Should I ask about his life?"_ he thought. _"Maybe I should apologize and ask for forgiveness? Or, I could start with the truth and move on from there. Answer his every question and make him understand."_

"Jonathan," he started. "I know that you upset with me, but you need to forgive me. I am your father, and I deserve to be treated as such."

"You are _not_ my father. You are a liar! You lied to me…you lied to mom!" he snapped. "She doesn't deserve this, and you don't deserve her."

"Don't bring your mother into this. This is between me and you!" Jonathan got up from the table. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"Outside. I'm leaving before I say something I regret." He shot back. A few seconds later, Jake heard the front door slam. He shook his head in disappointment. He started after him but decided against it. Instead, he walked into the living room and poured a drink. He plopped down on the sofa and prayed that Jonathan would come back.

An hour later, Olivia walked into the living room, and her heart broke when she saw Jake. He had been defeated. His eyes were red from crying, and his brow was wrinkled from thinking. She felt bad for him. She quietly sat beside him and wrapped her arms around his midsection.

"It didn't go well…" It sounded like a question, but it was more of a statement. Instead of answering aloud, Jake looked down at Olivia. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'll talk to him."

"Liv…that's not necessary"

"It's okay. I want to do it. It has been over a year, Jake."

"I know, but I don't want to bring you into my mess."

"If he knows that I know, then he will let it go. I am the reason why he still hates you. Let me fix this." She took a deep breath. "I am fixing this." Jake gently lifted Olivia, so he could get off the couch. "Where are you going? She asked.

"To bed," he snapped. "…and I probably won't be here when you wake up in the morning. Something came up, and the agency needs me in DC." Olivia didn't utter a word. She leaned forward and grabbed his drink from the table. She threw it back and closed her eyes to imagine a different life.

The next morning, Jake awoke to an empty bed. He reached out for Olivia, but only found a cold satin pillow. More than likely, she slept in the nursery with Charlie. He rolled out of bed and started prepping for his trip back to DC. After he showered and confirmed his flight, he headed downstairs for a cup of coffee. He walked into the kitchen, and his heart broke. She was frail and overwhelmed. Once again, she was broken, and he didn't know how to fix her. He breezed past her and poured himself a cup of coffee.

"About last night…" he started. " I'm sorry for snapping on you. This whole Jonathan situation threw me for a loop, and I…"

Olivia stepped closer to Jake. "It's okay," she said as wrapped her arms around him and placed her hands in his back pockets. In response, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. They both took a deep breath and enjoyed the warmth of being in each other's arms. "Last night, after you went to bed, I did some thinking, and maybe we should…"

"Sell the house and move to Italy? You always loved Italian wine and pasta," he teased.

"No." She shook her head.

"Go down to _Mexico? _You know how much you enjoy that." He winked.

"Definitely no."

"Pretend like we don't have kids and live stress-free lives? Which would also allow my two previous guesses to happen… "

"Hmmm, as fun as that sounds…no, I was not thinking that."

"Really? I was hoping you were. It has been on my mind for _at least _the last six years. While I love Ellie and Jonathan, they are a pain in my ass most days. They have 'too many problems.' Think. About. It. Without them, we could _really _focus on us. No more late night phone calls. No more tuition bills. Hell, no more holidays. We could travel to exotic places on a whim and live fascinating lives." He said breathlessly.

"Mr. Ballard, we are not cutting off our children. Remember, we love them. Plus, they will have to take care of us one day. So, we should probably be nice to them." She kidded.

"Ugh, if you say so…" he replied as he pulled her closer.

"As I was saying, maybe we should go to the mountains this weekend." She pulled away, so she could look directly into his beautiful brown eyes. "Teddy returns Friday afternoon, so I won't have to watch Charlie past then. If you want, we could rent a car and drive up to Sugarloaf…grab a late dinner and stay over in the cabin. We would drink wine, watch crappy television, and cuddle on the couch. How does that sounds?"

"It sounds…amazing. I would love to spend the weekend alone with you." He leaned down, cradled her face, and kissed her. At first, it was slow and awkward, but after a second or two, they found a comfortable rhythm. "I love you," he moaned into her mouth as his hands started to roam.

"I love you too," she replied. She felt his hand travel down and under her silk top. She grabbed his head and ran her fingers through his hair. She pulled him in closer. For a moment, their world seemed right.

Then, the doorbell rang, and the mood completely changed. "That's my town car," he said as he looked down at her. She slowly released him by stepping back. She fixed his collar, fluffed his hair, and smoothed the wrinkles out of his shirt. He grabbed her hand and rubbed his thumb along the single gold band. "Make all the necessary reservations, and I will clear my schedule for this weekend. Depending on traffic, I can be here by 4:30. "

"Sounds perfect, Mr. Ballard." With his hand in hers, they walked towards the front door. Once in the foyer, they exchanged goodbyes, and hugged one last time.

"Tell the kids that I love them and kiss Charlie for me," he added.

When Jake opened the door, a cold breeze flew into the house. Olivia leaned against the doorway and watched as he got in the car. As he drove away, she waved to him one last time and blew one more kiss.


	5. Welcome Back To Wonderland

Hi guys!

Here's the latest chapter. Let me start by saying that I love your feedback and enthusiasm for the story. It really motivates me to write. Initially, this was a one-shot, but because of the support I received, I decided to keep going. Feel free to review and PM me any questions you might have. I enjoy reading your thoughts on the characters and situations. Also, I would like to answer some questions from the previous chapters. 1) You all will learn more about Jake and Jonathan's relationship within the next 2 chapters. 2) Jonathan is definitely Jake's son. He was trying to hurt Jake when he said "Jake wasn't his father." Jake LOVES Jonathan. While Ellie is Jake's princess, Jonathan is definitely his Lancelot. 3)Fitz is coming soon. 4)Health of Olake- I don't know how to answer this. Marriage is alot of work, and only the people can tell whether it's okay or struggling. Maybe this chapter will move you towards one camp or the other. 5)More flashbacks are coming to explain Gregory and Eleanor's past. 6) Special shout out to all the new followers and commenat-ors :)

Enjoy!

Welcome Back to Wonderland…

As the jet pulled into the hanger, Jake ended his video conference with Huck. He re-encrypted the tablet and placed it in his bag. He reviewed the final pages of the dossier and wrote comments along the margins.

"Sir," the flight attendant interrupted. "We're here. You can exit the plane through the rear, and thanks for flying with Blue Skies." She smiled.

Jake nodded and gathered his belongings. He turned on his cellphone and exited to find Daniel waiting beside a black SUV.

"Daniel! You drove all the way out here to meet me. _How_ cute?' he said sarcastically. "I feel special." He strolled passed Daniel and climbed into the SUV.

"Sir, I missed you, and I wanted to see you as soon as possible. Wonderland wasn't the same without you," he retorted as he stepped into to the SUV behind Jake.

For the first few miles, Jake and Daniel rode in silence. While Daniel read over the CV of B613 agents, Jake crafted an attack strategy and a contingency protocol. Although Jake despised Daniel most days, he had to admit that they were a good team. Jake would come up with a big idea, and Daniel would work out the logistics. They were a match made in heaven. There was only one problem. Jake didn't trust Daniel, not with his life or his agency. Daniel was intelligent, ambitious, and conniving. Great traits for a lone agent, but not something you want in a team member. Furthermore, it was no secret that Daniel wanted Jake's job. He wanted to be the next command, and Jake was completely against that idea. If Daniel became command, all his work, his legacy would be destroyed.

As the SUV pulled into the parking garage, Daniel handed Jake his top picks for the assignment.

"I'll look over this and get back to you," he began. "If I haven't approved it by lunch, stop by my office." Daniel nodded his head in agreement. They both climbed out of the SUV and headed separate ways.

Once in the building, Jake quickly ran to his office before his meeting with Huck. He hurried past Joan, his assistant, and into his office. He turned on the lights, placed his bag on the couch, and grabbed two files from the safe.

"Jake," she said as she knocked on the door. "You have a couple of messages. Do you want me to read them? Or should I come back?"

"You can read them, but I have a meeting with Huck in ten. Make it quick." He answered as he looked over the first file.

"First, Leo called. He wants to know if Operation Arizona is a go."

"No, the intel has yet to be confirmed, and I would like to avoid another world war. Tell him that I have an agent on the ground, and I am waiting for him to make contact. No one…and I mean no one is allowed to make a move without a word from me." He said.

"Ok. Mick needs you to approve the new recruits. You were supposed to do that on Tuesday, but…"

"I forgot," he finished as he rubbed his brow. "Tell him that he will have it by lunch, and call IT and give them the go ahead to make the recruits ghosts. Delete all social media accounts, assign new social security numbers, and print up new licenses and passports. "

"Lastly, the finance department needs you to approve last quarter's expenditures, so they can update the books. Also, don't forget to sign off on this month's paychecks."

Jake looked up from the file and stared at Joan. "I forget to approve _one _time...one time in the last fourteen years...and everyone gets their panties in a bunch." He bellowed. "It was a new system, and no one told me that the deadline had changed."

"But, you forgot." She reiterated

"Ok. I get it," he said as threw his hands up in defeat. "I will do it after my meeting with Huck. Is that all? " he asked as grabbed his tablet from his bag.

"Yes…" she answered as she turned and walked back to her desk.

"Joan," he called. "One more thing, clear my afternoon schedule for Friday and remind everyone Huck will be in charge when I'm gone." Jake quickly grabbed a pen from his desk and headed towards the cyber unit.

A few minutes later, Jake walked into Huck's office.

"Huck," he said. "Do you have any new info on the Czechs?"

"No, but I've uploaded a virus carrying a trojan horse onto their servers. In another hour, I should have access all their files…even the classified ones."

"Good job, Huck." Jake said as he patted Huck on the shoulder. "…and did you confirm the intel for operation Arizona?

"Not yet. I passed that assignment onto Cooper. He should have something soon."

"Cooper really? Is he ready?" he asked as he began pacing around the room. "Huck, we have _too _much riding on Arizona for it to be in the hands of a rookie."

"He's ready. I promise." He answered as he looked up from the screen to Jake. "How's Liv and the kids?" he asked to change the subject.

"Liv is okay. She's worried about us again, and I don't know how to reassure her that everything will be fine."

Jake closed his eyes and allowed his mind to drift away. It drifted back to London, right before Ellie was born. Liv was happy…genuinely happy. They lived life as normal couple. They ate, slept, and…occasionally…showered together. Every night before bed, he would rub her belly and talk to Eleanor. And on Saturdays, they would watch movies on the couch and work on the nursery. It was wonderful…

_"Liv, pick a color," Jake demanded._

_"I am. Give me time," she pouted as she looked over the paint swatches one more time. _

_"See, we could have avoided all of this, if you would've learned the sex of the baby_._" _

_"Unlike you, I want to be surprised. I want to enjoy the moment like any new mother." She murmured. Jake stepped behind Olivia and wrapped his arms around her growing belly and began to rub it._

_"I know," he whispered into her ear. "Maybe you should let me pick the color." _

_"No. Not happening because your choice will give away the sex. But, nice try." She smirked._

_"Liv," he grumbled. "Let me pick the color. You are due in a month, and the nursery is completely empty. We don't have a crib." _

_"Ugh…I'm handling it," she exasperated "…green. Let's go with Amazonian green." _

_"You sure?" _

_"Positive. Amazonian green with ecru." She repeated and nodded her head as an added measure. _

_"Sounds beautiful." Jake turned Olivia around and looked into her eyes. He placed his hands along the sides of her face and slowly lowered his lips to meet hers. "I love you," he whispered. _

_"Jake…" _

_"I know…you don't have to say it back." _

"I got something." Huck shouted pulling Jake out of his memory. "The Czech government has been using monosulfuric dihydrogen oxide or…" he started.

" MSDH…Poor Man's Poison. Shit!" Jake finished as he rubbed his brow.

"On the opposition. There are pictures and logs with signatures. It goes high up. We have to do something."

"My god, how did they get their hands on MSDH? We banned the production of it fifteen years ago in GPCI treaty."

"I don't know, but I can try to find out." He answered.

"Ok. You continue working on that, and I need to go find Daniel." Jake grabbed his stuff and headed out the door. "I'm thinking two drones and one team should be enough. I want this handled by lunch."

* * *

_Any thoughts? _


	6. You Have to Forgive Him

You Have to Forgive Him…

Hey Guys! It's been awhile since updated. Sorry about that :( I hit a writer's block. I love your supportive comments and messages! They really push me to write :) Anyways, here's the latest chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

As Olivia closed the door, she took a moment in the foyer for herself. She relived her last few minutes with Jake. She closed her eyes and thought about how warm his mouth felt when they kissed…the way his hand glided under shirt like it knew exactly where it was going…most of all, she remembered how happy she felt. She was happy that Jake agreed to spend the weekend in Sugarloaf with her. They could spend all weekend isolated and indoors enjoying the Connecticut countryside. They could finally talk without any added pressure, and she could tell him the truth. This secret…her secret was killing her. Every day a piece of her died. She closed eyes and prayed that everything would work out.

A few minutes later, Jonathan walked down the stairs with a crying Charlie in his arms, and Olivia opened her eyes in response. She saw both boys and smiled. They were the spitting image of her. They both had her eyes and her chubby cheeks. Their complexion was lighter than her complexion, but you could tell they were her family.

"I didn't know you were up," spoke Olivia as she took Charlie from Jonathan's arms and snuggled him in the crook of her neck. "I thought you were still sleeping. Dad just left, and he says that he loves you. Unless he's busy, he will probably call later. You can talk to him then."

"Oh…I've only been up for a few minutes, Mom," mumbled Jonathan as he rubbed his head and sat on the kitchen counter. "Plus, I'm headed back to Cambridge today. I have a lab to run."

Olivia gave Jonathan knowing glance. She knew he was lying, and he knew that she knew he was lying. Anytime he rubbed his head, he was lying about something. "Really? Is that the lie you're sticking with?' asked Olivia.

"Okay," he admitted. "I don't feel like being around dad right now. I'm tired of the lying and the tension."

"Hmmm," muttered Olivia as she nodded her head.

Olivia laid Charlie down in his bouncer and walked over to the fridge. She grabbed his bottle and placed it in the microwave. While it was heating, she turned around and stared at Jonathan. She wanted to talk to him about Jake and the current situation, and she thought that was the perfect opening. "_Should I start from the beginning and admit my part?_" thought Olivia. "_…or should I explain Jake's actions and leave my role out?_" Olivia opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She felt her throat tighten a little bit and found it difficult to swallow. This was the hardest thing that she had done in a while. No one said parenting would be easy, but this was too much. She feared that if she told him the truth, he would look at her in the same exact way that he looked at Jake. She wasn't ready to lose her only son. She cleared her throat and tried again.

"When you were five," started Olivia as she folded her arms across her chest. "You would follow your father around like a lovesick puppy. Everything he did, you did. You were his partner in crime…the Lancelot to his King Arthur. You went so far that for Halloween you wanted to be a Navy officer…a captain more specifically," teased Olivia. "For three months I searched for that costume." Olivia held three fingers to exaggerate her point. "When I didn't find it, you threw a fit and demanded that Dad order you a suit from the Navy." Olivia smiled and shook her head in disbelief. "…and he did. He called his CO and made it happen. You were so happy that Halloween."

Jonathan waited a moment speaking, so he could gather his thoughts. "Mom, what is your point?"

Olivia unfolded her arms and looked into Jonathan's eyes. "You have to forgive him," whispered Olivia as she took a step closer to him. "You have to forgive him. He is your father…the man who painted your nursery…the man who made you lunch every day during preschool… and the man who has supported you and your sister no matter what. It has been a year. You need to let it go and forgive him. Push the reset button and move on. I won't always be here, so _you will need him_ _one day_…but he won't be there because you shut him out. You didn't give him another chance, and now, he has given up on you."

Jonathan took a deep breath and looked at Olivia. "Mom, he is not my father. I don't who is, neither do you," replied Jonathan as he jumped off of the counter. "If you knew the truth, you would never forgive him. He lied to you! He is lying to you!" yelled Jonathan as he walked out of the kitchen. "You should call and ask him why I am so angry."

Surprised by his yelling, Olivia leaned backed on the counter and took a deep breath. She grabbed the bottle from the microwave and tested it. Then, she picked Charlie up from his bouncer and followed Jonathan upstairs. He was packing his duffle bag. However, he stopped when he saw Olivia standing in the doorway. She walked into his room and sat on the settee. "I don't need to call your father and talk to him. I already know the truth. I've always known. E don't keep secrets from each other," she started. Jonathan paused for a moment, and Olivia suggested that he sit beside her. "I know about Ellie's abortion, and I know that Dad helped her with it. I know he drove her to the clinic and signed for it. He held her hand throughout the entire process because I was too weak to do it. Your father is good man, and he has always been there for me…for you…and for Ellie. Truth of the matter , Ellie was at a crossroads in her life, and she did not need a child. So, they handled it, and I knew…do you hate me too?"

Jonathan stood up from the bed and looked at with Olivia with such disgust. He no longer knew who she was either.

* * *

Recap: So...we found out the secret. Do you guys think that it was that big of deal? Or should Jonathan have let it go? Please let me know what you think in the comments or message me.


	7. Let's Make This Year Count

Let's Make This Year Count…

Hey Guys! Here's the latest installment, and special shoutout to bk-1205 for being a loyal reader. Your support means a lot to me. I hope you guys enjoy it! And Happy Holidays!

* * *

Olivia watched in disbelief as Jonathan stormed out of the house without another word. Her worst fear was coming true. She had officially lost her only son. She placed Charlie in his bouncer, took a seat at the kitchen counter, and tried to find a way to fix it. Her gut instinct was to call and order him home, so they could talk about it. If she could only make him see their side of the story, then everything would be all right.

As Olivia leaned against the granite countertop, she remembered the day when Eleanor told her about the pregnancy. It was a little over four years ago on a cold, rainy day. The streets were busy from all of the extra traffic for some football game, and she had finally returned home from running errands. She recalled how cold and dark the house seemed. It didn't feel like home.

With her arms filled with groceries, she walked into the kitchen and discovered Eleanor looking out of the window. Eleanor's knees were pressed against her chests with her arms were wrapped around her legs. She was staring out the window. Her eyes were following each raindrop as it trailed down the windowpane.

_Four years earlier…_

_"Hey honey!" smiled Olivia as she placed the bags on the counter. "We weren't expecting you until this weekend, but it's great that you're here. I need some help picking out a gift for your father. I was thinking about book on Navy warships. He would enjoy that, right?" She walked over to the nook and gave Eleanor a quick peck on the cheek. "Or a wine tour in Italy for this summer, which could also double as our anniversary gift. It would kill two birds with one stone..."_

_"Mom," interrupted Eleanor without looking away from the window. "I…"_

_"I know what you are going to say, and you're right," finished Olivia as she looked up to the ceiling. "The wine tour would be more for me than Jake, so the book is definitely the better gift. Plus, we both know that your dad doesn't have time to travel. He is always working. Anyways, I have more groceries in the car. Do you want to help me?" _

_With red, puffy eyes, Eleanor looked up at Olivia and began crying again. "Mom," she started. "I am so sorry, but I messed up…" _

_"Ellie, what's wrong? Did something happen?" Olivia took a seat beside Eleanor and pulled her daughter closer. "Whatever it is, it's not as bad as you think. I promise." _

_ "It is…" The tears started streaming down Eleanor's face and slowly fell onto her sweatshirt. She felt alone and scared. This was the hardest thing that she had ever done. How could she look at her mother…her role model…and tell her that she was pregnant. She took a deep breath and snuggled closer to Olivia. "…and I don't know what to do. I went to the doctor yesterday, and…. I'm pregnant." Eleanor sobbed into Olivia's chest. _

_Olivia rubbed Eleanor's back and attempted to comfort her. "Honey, it is okay. Your father and I are here for you." Olivia choked back the tears. She was saddened. Eleanor was so close to finishing at Princeton. She was on her way to Georgetown for law school and was interning at the Pentagon this summer. She was about to lose everything. "I know you have another semester of college left, but we can make this work. Don't worry. Everything will be fine." Olivia tried to hide her disappointment by sounding more enthusiastic than she really was. Right now wasn't the time to be morally righteous. Eleanor needed a friend, not a disciplinarian. _

_"But mom," cried Eleanor. "I can't keep it. I can't have a child right now…things are too complicated."_

_"It's not complicated. I promise that your father and I will help you in any way that we can. This is just a bump, but you can still make any of your dreams happen. You can still be an ambassador…a senator…even president." Olivia pulled Eleanor closer and kissed her on the forehead._

_"Mom…the father…is my teacher. If the university finds out, we would both be suspended for violating its policy." _

_"Don't worry I can handle that," assured Olivia. "I know people." _

_"But, that's not all. He's married, and I can't…I just can't tear his family apart. Mom, I can't do this." _

_"Really? He's married So, do you love him?" _

_"Yeah…I do. He's funny…smart…talented. He loves coffee and Thai food…and he can make me smile, even if I don't want to." _

_"Ellie…it's okay. We've all made mistakes. You're human. He's human, and we are all trying to do the best we can…given the circumstances, but I understand how you feel. I'll make the appointment for Monday." For the next hour, Olivia held Eleanor and watched her cry. She rubbed her back and kissed her forehead again. "It's okay. Everything will be fine." _

_When Jake came home later that night, he found Olivia sitting on their bed nursing her fifth glass of wine. He emptied his pockets, turned off his phone, and changed into his pajamas. Then, he slowly climbed into their bed and pulled her closer. _

_"What's the matter?" he asked as grabbed her glass and placed it on the bedside table. "I saw the half-empty bottle on the kitchen counter. You went for the good stuff," he teased. _

_"A lot," responded Olivia in low voice. "First, people are still RSVPing for your birthday dinner on Saturday. We have forty-three confirmed guests, and the restaurant refuses to give us more tables…"_

_ "We can have the dinner here. My people will have to sweep before and after the party, but we can work around that…and just call Abby and see if her shop would be interested in catering it. Her artichokes puffs alone are better than everything on the menu at Amoruccio. That's one problem solved." _

_"...and Jonathan's tuition is due by Friday. He keeps calling for a check…." _

_"Don't worry. I will call him later on tonight and explain to him that I'm not paying $40,000 again, especially if he's going to continue skipping classes and partying every night. MIT is expensive, and I am not made of money. It is time for him to grow up. I am tired of his irresponsible ways and indifferent attitude. Don't worry. It's handled. What's next?" _

_"…and Ellie's pregnant. Happy birthday! Best gift ever, right?" Olivia grabbed her glass from the table and finished it off. "That was really good wine. Remind me to thank Abby for that bottle. Anyways, I'm going to grab another glass…you want one?" _

_"Wait a minute. What did you say?"_

_"Ellie, __**your snug bug**__, is pregnant…by her married teacher no less. Oh, and she __**loves**__ him. I guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree," giggled Olivia as she stumbled out of the door. "Out of all the traits that I could have passed on, I passed on that one." Jake took moment and tried to process everything. After a few minutes of thinking, he went downstairs to find her. _

_"So, here's what we are going to do," started Jake as he walked into the kitchen and leaned against the stove. "We can move to New Jersey while she finishes her last semester. We would have to downsize, but you've been talking about that for years."_

_Olivia poured another glass and looked at him. "Jake…" _

_"Never mind. That was a bad idea. She should move home until she has the baby. Then, she can finish up at Princeton and apply to Georgetown like we've always planned. She could live with us for the next three years. Afterwards, she can intern at a law firm on K Street, and everything will be fine." _

_"Honey, she's not keeping it. She doesn't want it," grunted Olivia as she dropped the empty bottle into the trash. _

_ "What do you mean that she doesn't 'want' it? We can provide for it. We have a home and lots of love. She can keep it. Have you two lost your minds?"_

_ "No, it's complicated." _

_"Define complicated, Olivia."_

_"Well Jake, she's not prepared to raise a child. She doesn't have a real job or a real source of income. Her apartment is crappy…really crappy, and she has another semester of school left. Given the circumstances, maybe this is the best thing to do." _

_"No. We can help her. I can retire early…we can work something out. She's not doing this. She's not some teenager from a poor family. She is an adult, and we are very well off. We can handle another child." _

_"Jake…" _

The ringing of Olivia's phone pulled from her thoughts. She looked at the caller ID and slid her finger across the screen to answer it.

"Hey snug bug. Are you in Seattle yet?" asked Olivia as she picked up Charlie up from his bouncer.

"Hey! I've been in Seattle for about a day now. Oh my god Mom, it's beautiful. The snow is gorgeous, and it smells like fresh pine. I could live here for the rest of my life, " replied Eleanor. "How's my sweet pea? Is he behaving himself?"

"He's fine. Don't worry about him…focus on your trip. You need to focus on this account , so you can come home ASAP."

"…and how's Dad? Did he make it in alright?"

"He did...and so did Jonathan."

"What about Teddy? Has he called?"

Olivia could hear the uncertainty in Eleanor's voice. It sounded hopeful but not too hopeful. Deep down, Ellie really wanted the answer to be yes. "Not yet. But, everything is fine. Don't worry. Teddy will call. He loves Charlie just as much as you do."

"If you say so…I haven't talked him since our big fight on Monday.," Eleanor waited for a moment and thought about her next words very carefully. Because once they were out, she wouldn't be able to take them back. "Mom I've been thinking…and maybe it's time that I Teddy and I separate. This isn't working...our lives aren't working. Plus, I could do much better on my own. I love him…I really do…but…"

"Ellie, just give it some time…marriages take work…_a_ _lot_ of work. You two just need some time. How about this? When you get back, I can watch Charlie for a weekend in DC while you and Teddy spend some time alone. You two could talk and figure out what exactly is going on."

"I don't know, Mom. Teddy and I don't talk any more, but I will think about it. Anyways, I just pulled into my hotel, so I will call you guys later. Give Charlie a kiss for me, and I love you guys."

"Love you too…" and with that Olivia ended the call. She bounced Charlie a little bit more before heading into the living room.

* * *

_ Two days later…_

Surrounded by pillows and blankets, Jake pulled Olivia closer and kissed her on her on the forehead. For the last twenty minutes, neither one of them had uttered a word. They were sitting in the middle of the cabin's living room enjoying a nice glass of wine and the warmth of the fireplace.

"This is nice," spoke Olivia as she snuggled into the crook of his neck.

"It is. I'm glad to be out of the city and away from everything. It's so quiet and peaceful here. Plus, the drive was amazing. The mountains…the snow…and the pie. That diner always has the best pie." Jake closed his eyes and tried to soak in the moment.

"I know…you tell me that every time we stop there."

"Thank you for making this happen. I love you…"

"I love you too." Olivia looked up at Jake and smiled.

Jake took Olivia's hands into his hands and brought them up to his lips. He kissed them and continued talking. "Babe, I have to tell you something." Jake felt Olivia tense up and reassured her everything was fine. "I've been thinking, and I've decided to retire at the end of the year."

"Honey…"

"No, hear me out. The agency is doing well. Huck is a great number two, and with a little more training , he could take over. The kids are grown, Charlie is handful for Teddy and Ellie, and to be honest, I'm getting too old to keep up with everything. Joan reminds me of the most basic things now. Plus, this would give us more time for us. I really want to do this. What do you think?"

"Honestly," she started. "I think it's a terrible idea. That job and us are the only two things you have in life." Shocked by her confession, Jake stood up and started pacing around the room. He couldn't believe that she didn't support his idea of retiring. He always thought that was her ultimate dream. "Jake, calm down, I'm not just saying this because I love you, and I know that job makes you happy. I'm saying this because I don't want you to put all of your eggs in one basket. "

"What do you mean? You guys are my family, and I would love to focus only on you all. I enjoy what I do, but that fails in comparison to the feelings I get when I see you holding Charlie…or when Ellie smiles…or during dinners with Jonathan."

"Jake…I have to tell you something." Olivia took a deep breath to calm herself. She prayed for the courage to tell him the truth because it was now or never. If she didn't tell him now, then he would definitely be upset when she told him later.

"Jake, I went to the doctor last week, and the doctor found a mass in my breast." Olivia could feel her throat tightening and the tears swelling in her eyes.

Jake stopped pacing and grabbed his glass from the coffee table. "A mass?" he repeated. "What do you mean by 'a mass,' Olivia?"

Olivia started whimpering because she didn't want to tell him the truth. She didn't want to tell him that she was dying. A few moments ago, he was so happy. He had a new lease on life, and now, she was about to rip all of that away. "Jake…I have…breast cancer."

"Cancer? What?" When?"

"Honey, I have stage four breast cancer. They discovered it at my last check up."

"How long?" Jake closed his eyes to stop the tears from falling. " How long do you have?"

"A year…eighteen months at the most…"

"…and this is with treatment?"

"No, treatment isn't an option for me. The cancer has progressed too far. The oncologist recommended that I enjoy my last year at home with my family."

"Why? You are a fighter…a gladiator in a suit. We are looking into some treatment options."

"Jake," interrupted Olivia.

"Surgery…radiation…chemotherapy…there are a lot of options. One of them has to work…"

"Jake! None of them will work! It has spread to my lungs. Those might slow it down, but it would also wreak havoc on my body. I would suffer from fatigue, nausea, weight loss, neuropathy, and hair loss. Just to name to a few, and after a while, I won't even look like myself."

Jake kneeled beside Olivia and placed his hands around her cheeks. He loved her too much to let her go without a fight. She was his backbone…his partner…and his best friend. After twenty-seven years of being together, he could no longer imagine his life without her. "Liv, I don't want to lose you."

"I know, and I don't want to lose either. But, this is life, and I have no choice in the matter. I am going to die within the next year." And with that, Olivia finally broke down. The tears ran down her face, and it became harder for her to breath. No matter how hard she tried, there was never enough air in her lungs.

Jake pulled her closer and tried to comfort her. He could feel her hands shaking on his upper back. "It's okay," he whispered into her ear. "You are Olivia Pope, and you can handle anything."

"I love you," whispered Olivia in between sobs.

"I love you too, and I promise that this year will be amazing. We will make it count." Jake squeezed Olivia a little bit tighter and kissed the top of her head. For first time in years, Jake was afraid and filled with uncertainty. How could he live without her? And how would his family survive without her? She was the glue holding them together.

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I hope y'all enjoyed it! Happy Holidays! Feel free to comment and message me your thoughts on Olivia's confession and Ellie's plan.


	8. It Makes You Wonder

"It's Makes You Wonder…"

Hey Guys! Here's the first update of the new year. Also, thanks to every one who commented on the story. I love reading your reactions and thoughts on the characters and story lines. Anyways, enjoy!

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The next morning, Olivia woke to Jake's arms wrapped tightly around her waist. For the first time since she found out about the cancer, she had slept through the entire night. She didn't toss or turn…or pace around the bedroom…or watch Charlie sleep in the nursery. She actually slept, and for once, her body felt rested. She tried to wiggle out of his hold without waking him but couldn't. As she twisted and writhed, she could feel Jake squirming on the other side of her.

"Liv," He said groggily. "What time is it?"

"6:23." She replied as she rolled out of bed. She grabbed her robe from the chair and flashed Jake a small smile. "Sorry for waking you. I didn't mean to…I just wanted to get a start on the day."

"No…no, it's fine." He whispered as he stretched out in the middle of the bed. "I have a call at eight with Huck anyways, and I need to read some threat assessments that I didn't get to last night."

Olivia paused for a second and watched Jake from the doorway. It was something that she hadn't done in years…no in decades. She leaned against the inside of the doorway and folded her arms. She watched as his eyes fluttered beneath the glow of the fireplace. She could see his chest steadily rising and falling. In that moment, they were having a normal morning. It reminded her of their first days together in London. With the sound of rain falling in the background and dark skies outside their windows, she would lean against their kitchen counter with a cup of tea and rub her belly while staring into their bedroom. She would stand there for hours…and hours…and hours on end thinking about their future. Back then, it felt like they had the rest of their lives to be together, and now, not a single a day was promised to them.

Olivia's mind slowly drifted back to the present, and she needed to talk to him about last night. Now that her mind was clear, she wanted to come up with plan to deal with her situation. She wanted a plan to tell the children…a plan to live out her final days…and a plan for what they should do afterwards, but right now wasn't the right time. She didn't want to ruin the moment.

"You know it's rude to stare, right?" teased Jake bringing Olivia out her thoughts.

"I'm not staring. I'm observing…" She corrected as she untied her robe.

Instead of heading downstairs, Olivia decided to crawl back in bed and wrap herself in Jake's arm. As she got into the bed, he instinctively scooted closer to his side and reached for her. She draped her arms around his waist and snuggled into the crook of his neck. She could hear his heart beat rhythmically in her ears. She could feel his hands searching for their spot on her lower back, and she could smell the vanilla from her shower gel. It felt like home.

"You stole my shower gel again," spoke Olivia as she kissed Jake on the neck.

"Well, someone forgot to pack my body wash," answered Jake accusingly as his hand rested right above her cheeks. "But, don't worry. I'll make it up to you later today." He smirked. "On the drive up here, I was thinking…."

"Oh god," interrupted Olivia. "You thinking is _never_ a good sign." She joked as she wove her legs in between his legs. "The last time you had a 'thought,' I followed you thousands of miles across the world."

Jake let out a sarcastic laugh to show his amusement and continued talking. "Anyways, I was thinking that we could drive in to town, grab a coffee, and shop. I know how much you love that bookstore on the corner of Elm and Park…"

"I love the sound of that," whispered Olivia.

"Okay, it's a date."

For a few more minutes, Olivia and Jake laid there in silence and enjoyed the early morning quietness. They looked out of their French doors at the sunrise. The sounds of their breaths and heartbeats filled the room. "Jake." She called lightly, so if he were asleep, she wouldn't wake him. "Are you up?"

"Yes." He answered as he pulled her closer. "I've been up since 6:23…"

"You remember our place on Rue de Broglie?"

"Yeah, it was the farmhouse we rented outside of Paris for a few summers. What about it?"

"I want to go back this summer…with the kids." Olivia could feel Jake tensing up. "It would only be for a week or two." She reassured him. "Some of my best memories are in that farmhouse. It was where Ellie learned how to ride a bike…where I learned how to plunge a toilet…" grinned Olivia as she recalled the memory of her standing in murky water with the kids screaming in the background. "…and it was where we found out about Jonathan." She finally felt Jake's body relax. "We had been there for almost a week, and I had thrown up every single morning _and _a couple of afternoons. We thought that I was having an allergic reaction to being surrounded by the outdoors, considering I was a city girl, and it was my first time in the 'real' country."

"Then, that Saturday we went for a walk in a neighboring orchard…and you got the biggest craving for…"

"Blueberries." They giggled in unison.

"…and I knew," finished Olivia. "I've hated blueberries since the third grade when Derek Polls smashed them into my pigtails."

"But, when you were pregnant with Ellie, they were your food," remembered Jake as his fingers danced along her spine. "Tarts, pancakes, pies…you ate everything. Then, Ellie was born, and you despised them again. You couldn't look at a blueberry without gagging."

"So, you ran to the story and bought seven tests…because six wasn't enough." She spat sarcastically. "…and you watched me pee on all of them. Then, we waited…and waited…and waited."

"God, that house felt so small at that moment! Finally after twenty minutes of pacing, a faded plus sign popped up, and we both smiled because we were having another child. We had started a family…"

Jake pulled Olivia closer and cradled her face in his hands. He rubbed his thumbs along the curve of her lips while Olivia ran her hands along the inside of his shirt and up his chest. He leaned in, and she scooted closer. As their mouths drifted towards each other, she opened her mouth and inhaled the warmth from his.

"I will always take care of you. No matter what…" declared Jake in a low tone like it wasn't for the world to hear…like it was a secret only for her and him. Then, their lips met, and she kissed him. She dived in without any hesitation. It wasn't a passionate kiss…or a kiss from being in heat…but one of acknowledgement...to show that she heard his confession and that she trusted him. After twenty-seven years, he was still the man that she wanted by her side at the end of the day and the one that she wanted to wake up with every morning. He was her partner…her best friend…and her protector.

Olivia pulled back and stared into his eyes. "I know…you always have," whispered Olivia as she laid her head onto his chest and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

As the glow from the Connecticut sunset filled the living room, Olivia finished the first chapter of her new book and headed towards the kitchen to start dinner. As she walked past the dining room, she saw Jake standing outside on the deck and watching the sun descend behind the snow covered mountains. She could tell by the way that his hands gripped the wooden posts that he was thinking about something.

"It's beautiful," called Olivia as she buttoned her cardigan. "It kind of makes you wonder why we ever decided to put this place on the market. It's an amazing cabin."

Jake took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Because…" choked Jake. "I never had time to come up here. B613 always needed something…and you didn't want to come alone."

Olivia took a step closer and wondered how long he had been on the deck beating himself up for her condition. "Jake, " breathed Olivia. "It's not your fault. Spending more time here…or at home wouldn't have made a difference. This was fate. But if it makes you feel any better, it's never too late change." She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face into his back. "I've been thinking, and ummm….I have a list…."

"A list?" clarified Jake as he ran his hands along her arms. "Liv, you're being dramatic. You don't need a bucket list."

"It's not a bucket list. It's more like a list of demands…things I want to do before," She took a moment to swallow the tears. "…and things that I want to happen afterwards."

"Olivia, we'll be fine. Don't worry, I will help them move on from this."

"No, it's deeper than that. First, I want to wait as long as I can to tell the kids. I don't want to ruin their lives just yet. Because once we tell them, it will be hard for us to live. Every holiday…every dinner…every shopping trip will considered the last one until another one happens. It will be the last Christmas…the last birthday…the last anniversary. I want to enjoy each one as it comes. I want to be normal for as long we can. "

"Okay, that's doable. I can do that"

"Two, I want to spend my last days at home…our home. The one that I have shared with you for the last twenty years…no hospitals or hospices. I want to die surrounded by our family and friends…the people who mean the most to me."

Jake closed his eyes tightly to stop the tears from falling. "Liv… do we have to talk about this now? Can we just enjoy being here? It's a vacation."

Olivia ignored Jake's request and continued talking. She wanted to get everything off her chest while she had the courage. "Three, I've decided to write letters and buy gifts for everyone. So, afterwards, no one will have to wonder what I would give Charlie for his tenth birthday or what Teddy and Ellie's anniversary gift would be fifteen years from now. So, I'm going buy all the cards and gifts, but I'll need your help on sorting them."

"Okay…."

Olivia squeezed him a little tighter and deeply inhaled to calm her nerves. This was the big one…the mother of all requests. "Four, when it's all done, I want you to find someone else…someone who loves you like you loved me." Olivia could feel Jake's tears dropping onto her arms, and it broke her heart. She was asking him to do the one thing that he vowed never to do…love another woman. "Five, I want to…"

"Liv, honey…." interrupted Jake. "I can't…I won't…"

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As for the next few chapters, they will be a mix of letters and glimpses into their lives. So, be on the lookout, and feel free to comment!


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